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Existential Crisis


We are living in a unique moment in history when it has never been more difficult to make choices and build one's own identity. Who am I, who do I want to be? The answer to these questions is demanding, because faced with an abundance of possibilities for ways of being, working and loving, it becomes necessary to choose and take responsibility for the consequences in one's own life. The uncertainty as to whether or not our investments and the path we follow will bring us happiness is agonising, even more so in the face of the finitude of life. The essence of man must be built by him throughout his existence and, along the way, it is common for a person to encounter crises and questions.


Personal development takes place through the continuous overcoming of different conflicts of a social nature and the exercise of self-evaluation about one's position in interactions with others and the world. During the life cycle there are 8 normative, expected phases of psychological conflict and subsequent readjustment. Each phase involves a crisis in the personality, consisting of a main event that is particularly relevant in that period and which remains an event of some importance throughout life. Crises must be resolved in order to develop a healthy personality and that important virtues of life are internalised. Below I summarise each of these crises:


0-18 months: Crisis of Trust vs. Mistrust.


In this first phase of life, the major tasks to be achieved depend more on the carers than on the children themselves and it is hoped that the child can develop to believe that the world is a good place and that they deserve love. To this end, it is essential that children grow up with loving, sensitive carers who promote their autonomy and exploration, but who also always provide a secure base of comfort to which they can return when they need it. Babies love and need their mothers and when they are not with them they suffer from longing (as well as not knowing how to differentiate between themselves and their mothers at this age, living in a symbiotic dependency), but it is in waiting for them to return and in the fulfilment of their wishes that the virtue of hope can develop. As the child grows up and discovers pleasant sensations that reoccur and when the mother confirms his expectations and hopes, basic trust arises, in other words, the child has the feeling that the world is good, that things can be real and reliable. Otherwise, basic mistrust arises, the feeling that the world doesn't correspond, that it's bad, ungrateful or that one doesn't deserve love.


18 months - 3 years: Crisis of Autonomy X Doubt and Shame


In this period of pre-school life, there is a change in the child's attitude, as they become more familiar with the world and master more movements, and seek to become autonomous and explore. There is a change in the management of control in the child's life, from external to self-control, in which children begin to replace their parents' judgement with their own. However, children gradually get to know the social rules and realise that they can't use their exploratory energy at will. It is common at this stage for children to test their parents' limits with tantrums and defiant behaviour. The greatest achievement of autonomy can also be seen in terms of personal hygiene, as at this stage children start to control their sphincters and also take care of their own hygiene. These aspects give children great autonomy, confidence and the freedom to try new things without fear of making mistakes. However, freedom without limits is neither healthy nor safe, which is why doubt and shame are necessary. Children need limits set by adults and shame (in the sense of realising that they have failed at something they know how to do, not in the sense of humiliation) and doubt help them to recognise the need for these limits and to develop self-control. If, however, she is criticised or ridiculed, she will develop shame and doubt about her ability to be autonomous, causing a return to the previous stage and the failure to develop the virtue of the will to live, i.e. dependence. The virtue of the will manifests itself in various situations, such as the manipulation of objects, the verbalisation that begins, the locomotion that advances in its capabilities, among others. At this stage, the main thing for parents to do is to give the child the right degree of autonomy. If too much is demanded of them, they'll realise they can't cope and their self-esteem will drop. If too little is demanded of them, they feel abandoned and doubt their abilities. If the child is supported or protected too much, they will become fragile, insecure and ashamed. If they are given too little support, they will feel overstretched. We therefore see that parents have to give children a sense of autonomy and, at the same time, always be close by, ready to help them when the task is beyond their capabilities. If children feel too ashamed because they can't cope with something or if their parents repress their autonomy too much, they will realise that all their problems, doubts and shame come from their parents, adults and external objects. As a result, she will begin to tense up in their presence and in the presence of other adults, and may feel that she can only express herself away from them.


3 - 6 years: Crisis of Initiative X Guilt


This is the start of the school stage, where the great virtue to be developed is purpose, i.e. the vocation to take initiatives, create things, discover and take risks without being paralysed by guilt or fear. This is a phase of great conflict for children, as their self-esteem is closely linked to their ability to carry out tasks and to their parents' approval, in addition to the conflict that arises from the growing sense of purpose, which allows them to plan and carry out activities, and the problems of conscience that may arise from these plans. During this period, children also begin to develop their identity, understanding different gender roles and the diversity of people's opinions and tastes. If their natural ‘sexual’ and intellectual curiosity is repressed and chastised, the child may develop an overly strong sense of guilt, reducing their initiative to explore new situations or seek out new knowledge. They may also become obsessed with perfection and adopt a stance in life in favour of pleasing others rather than themselves, thus emptying themselves of authenticity and happiness. If their parents are too strict and demanding, they may also develop somatisations or regress to previous phases, for example by returning to problems with elimination and hygiene.


6 years - puberty: Crisis of Competence vs. Inferiority


At this stage, the child must learn different skills (intellectual, physical, musical, artistic, scholastic, etc.) and have successful experiences, developing the virtue of the notion of their own competence. During this period, the child also starts going to school, which allows them to socialise with people who are not their family, requiring greater sociability, working together, cooperativeness and other necessary skills. One of the main determinants of self-esteem is children's view of their ability to work productively, to be able to create and do different tasks, and it is crucial for a person to be able to develop in different fields, overcoming inferiority complexes in the face of practices and activities in which they are not as competent. Recognising talents and promoting children's interests is essential here.


Adolescence: Identity Crisis vs. Identity Confusion


This is the peak phase of what would be the existential crisis, whose main task is to realise the transition from childhood to adulthood. Adolescents must determine their own sense of identity and be faithful to what they believe they are and want. Otherwise, they may spend a long time in a confusion of different roles and endless pondering about possibilities for their life. In order to form an identity, adolescents must secure and organise their abilities, needs, interests and desires in such a way that they can be expressed in a social context, and this independently of parental approval. Identity and the acquisition of adult maturity are formed when three essential issues are resolved: (1) choosing a profession and a purpose to be achieved through work, (2) adopting one's own values and (3) developing a satisfactory sexual identity. The satisfactory resolution of the identity crisis leads to the development of the virtue of fidelity: sustained loyalty and the ability to make commitments, whether it's a commitment to a loved one, identification with a set of values, ideology, religion or a political movement. It's very rare for the identity crisis to be resolved during adolescence, thus persisting into adulthood. Failure to resolve this crisis can lead to different processes:


1- A regression to infantile states of dependency and the consequent inability to fulfil commitments and have a satisfactory sex life,


2- The appearance of a false self (living based on the approval of others rather than one's own values and desires) or


3- Continuing to explore and experiment in search of self-knowledge, without much thought for the finiteness of life and the need to make choices.


Of course, throughout life we change and discover ourselves with each new encounter, but once the identity crisis of adolescence has been resolved, these new changes are integrated and assimilated into the person's personality without generating conflicts of discontinuity, in other words, without the fear of not knowing who you are. It is one thing to recognise our changing nature, knowing the historical continuity of our personality and the narratives we have created for our experiences, but it is quite another to feel great anguish when recognising change, due to the lack of solidity of the self and the fear of discontinuity.


Young adulthood: Crisis of Intimacy vs. Isolation


The main task in adulthood is the ability to establish intimate bonds of love and friendship without feeling that one is losing one's identity through closeness and identification with the other. For this to happen, the previous phase must have been resolved, because once you know who you are, you don't fear deep intimacy, you don't fear the risk of ‘losing yourself in the other’. The virtue to be conquered is love, the ability to fight for love and friendship relationships and that, in the face of conflicts and frustrations, one chooses to find solutions in the name of deepening intimacy rather than taking refuge in isolation. At this time, the interest, beyond the professional, gravitates towards building deep and lasting relationships, and you may experience moments of great intimacy and emotional surrender. In the event of disappointment, the tendency will be towards temporary or lasting isolation, trust vs. no trust, issues that will always accompany one's life and which will mould one's style and way of relating to people. At this stage, if the primary childhood issues (first crisis) are not resolved in order to relate in a secure way (to trust in oneself, in others and in the world), dysfunctional relational patterns of attachment will be repeated in emotional relationships, such as the avoidance of commitments, despair and/or dependence on them or more disorganised forms of relating where it is very difficult to understand and assimilate socio-emotional aspects.


Middle age: Productivity crisis vs. stagnation


At this stage of life there are countless processes, ranging from the mourning of youth and past possibilities to a profound re-evaluation of life so far. Those who have maintained a false self throughout adolescence and adulthood may feel enormous anguish and need to completely restructure their lives, suffering as they realise their inauthenticity over time. Also, those who haven't developed the virtues of love and commitment may feel adrift and sad in the face of their few achievements and secure, stable bonds. At this stage, there is also concern about the formation and guidance of the next generation, which is now becoming autonomous. Faced with these situations, you can either stagnate and become paralysed with anguish or redirect your energies to devoting yourself to your family, your career or working for social change. At this point in life, the person will also have acquired a great deal of knowledge and learning, seeking to communicate and pass on their legacy to others. The virtue that comes from resolving this crisis is care, care for life and the desire to dedicate oneself despite the losses assessed.


Later years: Crisis of Integrity vs. Despair


In the last years of life, death approaches and facing finitude makes a person reflect on their own existence and the moments in which they believed they had eternalised themselves: in the work they did, the people they loved and the legacy they left. You have to accept the meaning and journey of your own life, otherwise you will be plunged into despair at your inability to relive it. The virtue of this deep reliving, reflection and accepctance of life is wisdom.




References:


Erikson, E. H. (1976) Identity, Youth and Crisis. Rio de Janeiro: Zahar editores.


Erikson, E. H. (1987) Childhood and Society. 2nd ed.


Sartre, J. P. (2014) Existentialism is a humanism. 2. ed. Petrópolis: Vozes

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